During the time I was going to CSUN to earn my credential was a tough time.  For some reason, during the 10 years my grandma was sick I didn’t tell anyone.  I kept it a secret.  There’s a word for that: sadism.  Almost sounds like satan.  But at the time, my grandma was going through probably the most difficult challenge in her life.  She couldn’t swallow.  She had food directly delivered to her stomach through a plastic tube.  She could not move half of her body. If anything, I didn’t open up to people because I wanted to empatize with her.  She couldn’t speak.  Is that love or is it sadism?

After teaching as a long term sub last semester, I discovered a new definition of love.

I have verse 12 memorized because we were told during a college winter retreat to pick a favorite verse (Hi, Pastor Eddie!)  We had read the verse as a morning devotion.

1 Corinthians 13
12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

but in another translation (King James):

1 Corinthians 13

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift ofprophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Love = Charity

I didn’t know how to engage a rowdy bunch of students who didn’t have a stable authority figure all school year.  I was desperate.  This desperation lead me to use my own funds to buy school supplies and it was addictive.  The innocent joy of students in South LA, from mere plastic bottles and a toy I bought for $30 on Amazon.  This was science.  It was also the welling up of graditude from being hungry for instruction as all middle schoolers should obtain.

Who will be the voice for these students?

I, on the other hand, have a great job at a high performing school where everyone expects me to be a stellar teacher.  Will I disappoint when I cannot satisfy their hunger?

On the second day, I will introduce the Scientific Method by impressing upon students to ask appropriate questions.  Tough love is something I have to work on.  If I let students be children, then they will press on me to to come by their side to complete their work.  When I don’t, students complain that I ignore their questions and tell the vice principal.  This is science and I love it 🙂


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